It's finally happened. I have moved. And it sucks. Majorly. Has anyone noticed that my sentences keep getting shorter and shorter? Never mind.
Anyways, as previously mentioned, I have moved to the wonderful(ly horrid) Washintong DC. It is not all that great. I'm separated from my horse, mt friends, and to a certain extent, even my family! My older sister Amanda is PREGNANT for goodness sake and I'm not gonna be there to se my newborn niece or nephew!! My mom is leaving for a month in October to greet the new squalling bundle of joy into the world, but my parents won't even let me go back down to Cold Lake for a week to visit my friends for my 16 birthday!! I hate this move so much. I loved Cold Lake, I love small towns in general, actually. Cities? Not so much.
The move itself dug up so many bad memories for me too. The first time I moved away from Cold Lake, to Winnipeg, was the worst time of my life. I left my best friend Annisa, and the horse the I loved, Belle. Moving back to Cold Lake was wonderful, despite the fact that Annisa moved away the same time that I moved back.
But this is completely different too, because here I have no one. In Winnipeg, at least I had mt grandparents and cousins to make the move a little more easier, and I was still in the same country, at least. Moving from Canada to the U.S is so difficult. I can't get a job until all these papers come in from the Canadian Embassy and even then, there isn't even a bookstore nearby where I can work!!!! I wanna work at a bookstore, darn it! Aha. I really do though. It would be so convenient, the bibliophile that I am.
On another note, I just find it so weird over here. The trees and forest are just so alien to me, I can't find the same ease around them like I did with the forest at home. I felt welcomed, a part of the forests in Cold Lake, with the tall pines and aspens. Over here, everything about these ivy-laced trees scream Unwelcome. I'm scared of them.
I miss Canada so much. I miss my horse. I miss mt friends and everything that I left behind... I know that good things will come out of this, hopefully, but I hate to admit it. I don't want to be miserable, but it's like my life has been thrown out of orbit and into the dark chasms of space.
Hmm. Maybe I should be a poet?
ARG!
School is starting in a week. With that comes a whole lot of other insecurities, of course, especially about my... appearance. I'll scream at anyone who calls me fat, but I would be the first to admit that I AM overweight. I think about it all the time, how people see me and think about me. I haven't had a real boyfriend yet at all. I hope that, maybe, going into a bigger school will increase my chances.
I guess that's it for my occasional daily ravings, hopefully things will start to look up for me really soon. Yeah, right.

Ciao,

-Urban
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